Episode Reviews

Smallville Reviews

I'll try to review Smallville episodes each week, but sometimes I get pretty far behind. I'll eventually review other Superman TV shows, animation and movies, time permitting. Though be warned, these are long because I also recap the episode.

"Arctic"
Air date: 05/15/08

It had one of the longest "previously on Smallville" montages I've ever seen. It had reminders of Lana being zombified by Brainiac, of Lex and Clark having been friends, Teague in his monk get-up, the keys that unlocked the safety deposit box in Zürich that contained a device that could control the Traveler (Clark) and that Lex had gotten his hands on it and that it showed him the location of the Fortress of Solitude. We're also reminded that Chloe is a meteor freak and is dating Jimmy, that Lex killed Lionel, that Clark transported to Krypton's past to save himself as a baby from Brainiac and that Brainiac was after Kara. I know there was more, but I'm sure they'll have an even longer one for the premiere.

The episode opened with Teague on a private jet looking at his passport, where his new identity was listed as Alejandro Santos bound for Buenos Aires. As he studied the fake document, Kara walked up the aisle. "Another secret identity, Mr. Teague?"

"Excuse me?" he asked nervously.

"Why is it that when people are in trouble, they run to South America?"

Teague didn't offer an explanation, rather he simply said he chartered the jet and had been promised a discreet journey. "I'm not interested in having a conversation."

Kara replied she wasn't into small talk either. "I'd rather hear about Veritas."

"Who are you?"

"Someone who knows the Traveler and that you tried to destroy him."

Teague denied any knowledge of Veritas, but Kara hoisted him by the neck. "The device that controls the Traveler, where is it?"

Teague didn't answer and so Kara punched a hole in the fuselage. "We're 20,000 feet up, Mr. Teague. Tell me where the device is, or you'll be making your descent earlier than expected."

The co-pilot tried to intervene, but Kara elbowed him across the cabin and turned back to Teague. "One last chance. Tell me where the device is."

"Lex Luthor, he might have the answer you're looking for." Gee, for a cult willing to die for the cause, he caved pretty fast.

Kara smiled. "Enjoy the rest of your flight," she said and threw him to the floor. She then exited through the back of the damaged jet, which began to fall apart as she flew away. Can you say Brainiac? I think you can.

After the opening credits, Lex was in his Daily Planet office studying a globe and not surprisingly was focusing on the arctic region. He looked up as his minion entered. "Has the team reached the target?"

"We lost contact about an hour ago. They may have run into a bad patch of weather, some kind of interference ..."

"The satellite shows clear skies over the Arctic," Lex countered.

The minion explained that the team was less than 10 miles from the target when their signal cut out. "Just like the last team."

"I thought the Bermuda Triangle was somewhere a little more tropical. People don't just vanish off the face of the planet," he said. "Find them."

As the minion exited, Jimmy entered. "Hey, boss, if this is about my article proposal, I've got a great idea. Two page spread, color glossies from the Kawachie caves. It'll make the National Geographic look like a ten cent travel brochure," he bragged.

"We'll talk about your proposal later," Lex said dismissively. "Jimmy, my phone call to the Department of Domestic Security kept Chloe out of federal prison," he continued as he retrieved a file. "Now I need your help."

Jimmy, suddenly a lot less enthusiastic, asked Lex what he needed.

"Lois Lane off my back. She's been asking too many people too many questions."

"Well, what can I do?" Jimmy asked. "I mean Lois Lane isn't exactly a pushover. It's impossible to break her full court power of the press."

Lex became blunt. "I'm well aware of your limitations. Just help her find some information." He handed Jimmy the file.

Jimmy leafed through the pictures, which were labeled as being oil and gas exploration photos taken in an arctic region. "Is any of this true?"

"What matters is that you make her believe it's true."

Jimmy looked up from the photos. "So you want me to lie?"

"I want you to do whatever it takes."

Jimmy shook his head. "Oh ... uh, Lex ...."

Lex turned and faced Jimmy. "It would be tragic if the DDS decided Chloe was a threat after all."

Meanwhile at Kent farm, someone was leaning heavily on the doorbell and then switched to knocking as Clark descended the stairs. He began to open the door, but Lois opened it first. "Hi."

"Hey, get the lead out, Smallville," she said and walked past him. "Opportunity is knocking on your door."

"Come on in, Lois," Clark said to her retreating ponytail.

"Big news, an intern just got promoted to Chloe's old desk."

"Am I supposed to be happy that someone just took my best friend's job?"

"Absolutely, because it opens up a spot in the bullpen and guess whose name is written all over it?"

Clark shrugged.

"Clark Kent," she replied. "I've got your application right here."

Okay, I've got no idea where this is coming from. Why does Lois want Clark working at the Planet all of a sudden? This came completely out of the blue with no set up at all. Has she been feeling sorry for Clark because of what he's going through with Lana? Was she showing gratitude for Clark comforting her in Siren? I'd even be open to the idea that someone repulsive got Chloe's desk and Lois would rather have a friendly face there, but I've got nothing here.

"That's not gonna happen," Clark said and handed the application back to Lois. "Now if you would excuse me, I have chores to do." Gee, kind of reminds me of Kirk in the tribbles episode, "You must excuse me, gentlemen, I have a ship to attend to, au revoir."

"Seriously, Clark, don't you think you're destined for greater things than working on a farm?"

Why? What would give Lois the impression that Clark was destined for greater things? And what's wrong with working on a farm?

"Even if I wanted to, Lois, I'd never work for Lex Luthor," which was also Clark's attitude on L&C when Lois wanted him to come work with her at LNN.

Lois leaned against the counter. "Okay, then why were you such good friends with the guy? Looking into Lex's past, I found out just how far you two go back." Lois shook her head. "You're nothing alike. Why were you so close for so long?"

"Sometimes people don't turn out to be what you thought they were," he said and stepped closer. "Lois, if you're going to continue working for Lex, promise me you'll be careful."

Lois smiled. "You know if I didn't know any better, Smallville, I'd think you were worried about me."

Some eye contact and an awkward silence followed. It didn't last long. Chloe walked in. "Hey, Lois, can I talk to Clark for a second?"

"Yeah, I think we're done here," Lois said. "Just think about your future, okay?"

She gave Chloe a smile and tapped her with her elbow as she walked by.

As soon as Lois left, Chloe leaped right into exposition. I think an old teletype machine should be clattering in the background. "So a private jet just went down over upstate New York." Not to be confused with the jet that apparently carried a second Luthor team to the Arctic. "Three bodies were recovered and one was identified as Edward Teague."

Clark made a face and then boom, they were at Isis to continue the exposition. Remember that Metropolis is a three hour drive from Smallville. People better start moving to the big city next year.

On the main screen was the logo for the Federal Transportation and Safety Board, which Chloe hacked into. At this point I just say 'yeah, sure, why not' and move on when it comes to Chloe's hacking. She said according to their flight plan they were on their way to Buenos Aires, but about an hour into their flight something shot out of the cabin like a missile.

Chloe then played the recording from the black box, but aside from the co-pilot's voice, the rest was garbled. Clark asked her to play it and he concentrated his super hearing on the recording. "Kara."

"Kara? What's she doing with Edward Teague?"

Clark said he didn't know, but he heard her threaten to bring the plane down.

"We both know how reckless she can be when she's angry. Maybe she found out Teague was after you again."

An editorial note here. Kara, along with Wonder Girl, were responsible for bringing Air Force One down during a recent mini-series, Amazons Attack. They were well-intentioned, but the pilot was killed, so this action isn't out of character for the current comic book version of Kara.

Clark said there must be some other explanation. "She's not a killer."

"Look, Clark, I'm a fan of Kara's as well, but unless you're hearing things, it sounds like she caused that accident," she said and then reminded Clark about what he had said when Kara first arrived, that every Kryptonian he had ever met was a cold-blooded killer.

Clark whipped around. "I know her, she's my cousin. She's not a killer."

Chloe made her 'you're such a sap' grimace and Clark said he had to find Kara. Chloe played more of the garbled tape as Clark listened. "She's going after Lex."

And, as the segue comment suggested, 'Kara' showed up at Luthor mansion. She x-rayed the wall safe and saw the purple orb of doom inside and tried to grab it, but got the Wicked Witch of the West treatment. The orb would not let her touch it. She angrily slammed the safe's door just as Clark showed up.

"What are you doing here, Kara?"

"Trying to protect you."

"By threatening to kill Edward Teague?" he asked. "I heard the recording, those men are dead. Tell me you're not responsible for Teague's plane going down."

Kara said it was Teague's fault. "If he hadn't gone after the Traveler, he'd still be alive."

Clark grabbed Kara's arm. "We need to talk," he said and whooshed Kara back to the farm.

"Let go of me," she demanded.

"Kara, I've been worried about you, but I guess I should've been worried about everyone else," he said and then asked her if she'd come into contact with red kryptonite, or that something must've happened to her when she went back to Krypton. "Do you remember anything strange?" Aside from being on a planet that exploded?

"I'm fine, Kal-El," she said flatly and tried to walk past him, but he grabbed her arm again, which she clearly didn't like.

"Look, three people are dead because of you."

"And if someone figured out how to control you, a lot more would die."

Clark insisted that no one was going to be controlling him anytime soon. "Lex didn't find what he was looking for."

Kara managed a pleased expression, as if happy that Clark didn't know Lex had the orb. "You think that's going to stop a man like him?" she asked. "Get your head out of the clouds, Kal-El."

"There's something wrong with you, Kara. You need to stay here until we figure out what it is."

"You can turn a blind eye, but I'm going to do whatever it takes to save Earth," Kara said and tried to take flight, but Clark grabbed her ankle.

This was sort of a replay from earlier this season where he snagged Kara the same way, but surprisingly he wasn't a sucker in the earlier episode when she tried to kick him, but this time he got kicked across the barn.

Meanwhile, at the Ace o' Clubs, Jimmy entered carrying Lex's folder and found Lois at a table sipping a beer as she perused various files. "I know the Daily Planet's not half as hip, but last time I checked, your desk is still in the bullpen," he joked. "You know, across the street?"

"Well, I doubt Lex would be thrilled if I spilled all his secrets in the same place he signs my checks," she said. "Plus this place has an epic happy hour."

"Speaking of secrets, I've found something out about those mystery expeditions he's been sending to the North Pole."

Lois tugged Jimmy off to the side. "Either he's planning a hostile takeover of Santa's workshop, or he's doing something illegal," she whispered. "And since I'm sure Lex isn't into the Christmas spirit, what's the scoop?"

"Well, I'm sorry to say he's just scouting for new places to drill oil."

"What?" Lois instantly became suspicious. "Where did you find that out?"

"I heard a reporter talking about it on the third floor."

Lois's eyes narrowed. "Who?"

Jimmy stumbled. "Uh, I don't know, I just kinda overheard it. You know how it is up there, it's crowded." When that explanation failed to ease Lois's piercing stare, he handed her the folder. "Would you just take a look, surveyor photos of potential drilling sites."

Lois looked through the photos. "How did Jimmy Olsen manage to score such top secret stuff?"

Jimmy lied and said the photos were being sorted and scanned in the photo lab. "I saw my opportunity and took it, just like you taught me," he said, adding a little ego stroking for good measure.

Lois relented. "I guess I've been so focused on Lex, I've been looking for a villain in everyone, even you. Sorry."

"Hey, it's no big deal, really."

She playfully smacked him with the folder. "Got more game than I thought. Thanks."

Jimmy's smile faded as Lois walked away. He looked miserably guilty.

This was a good character defining scene. Jimmy doesn't want to lie to Lois, not only because it's hard to put one over on Lois, but because he obviously does not like to lie ... period. And Lois, influenced by working under the oppressive eye of Lex Luthor, has developed a more suspicious nature.

Back at the mansion, Lex walked in and found Kara looking at the stained glass window. “Little V with the stars. Something to do with Veritas, right?”

“I don't know what you're talking about,” Lex lied.

Kara spun her chair around. “Why is it that every time I bring up Veritas, people seem to suffer from sudden amnesia?”

Lex said nothing and Kara rose from her chair and mentioned that Veritas was a secret society formed to control a powerful alien. “Veritas also means truth. So what do you say we have some right now?”

Lex shrugged. “I don't know who you've been talking to ...”

“I know about the transmission sent to Virgil Swann. The ones telling him where to find the device to control the Traveler.”

“How did you hear about that?”

Kara smirked. “The Traveler and I -- we're from the same planet.”

I'd say Lex kept his skeptical expression, but he actually looked at her like she was insane.

“You don't believe me,” she said and then lit the logs in the fireplace with a shot of heat vision.

Lex smiled and panted as if he'd run a marathon. “The dam. You are the one who saved me.” He shook his head. “You kept denying it, why? Why tell me now?”

Her smirk returned. “I didn't know it then, but I saved you for a reason, Lex. It is your destiny to defeat the Traveler. I know you have the device and all of the pieces are in place. Now it's up to you.”

Lex was still not completely convinced. “If you believe I have this thing, why not take it and just do it yourself?”

“Apparently the orb was built to protect the human race, so only a human can use it.”

“It showed me a set of coordinates somewhere in the Arctic.”

Kara nodded. “Directions to his fortress,” she said and then told him he would have to take the orb there to control the Traveler.

Lex was reluctant and explained that two of his advanced teams never made it there.

Kara took his hands. “They didn't have a Kryptonian helping them.”

“You're talking about destroying one of your own kind.” Geez, Lex, you've done that a lot yourself.

Kara talked about the Traveler believing that he was sent here to save mankind, but said she learned the truth about him when she returned to Krypton. “He won't save mankind, he'll destroy it. “

“Who is it?”

“Don't you already know?”

I'd say that's pretty much a no-brainer given the fact she's living at the farmhouse as Clark's cousin.

Speaking of the farmhouse, Clark sat on the sofa with a lead box in front of him. Chloe entered and said he had broken out the heavy artillery. “It's not every day you see Clark Kent clutching a box of kryptonite.”

“It's the only way to stop her.”

“So I'm guessing face time with Kara didn't go so well.”

Clark walked to the window. “Kara's convinced someone will try to use me as a weapon. She thinks I'm not doing enough to stop it.” He turned back to Chloe. “What if she's right?”

“Clark, Kara's a lot of things, reckless, headstrong, possibly psychotic, but she's wrong about you. You've done everything you can to stop Veritas and more. You know that.”

Uh, that's not even close to the truth. Did the writer of this episode not see Sleeper? In that episode Chloe asked Clark if he was able to get the Veritas keys from Lex. What did Clark say? “I spent the night with Lana.” When Chloe countered that if Lex got the device, he'd have the power to control him, what did Clark say? “The only thing that matters is Lana.” So no, Chloe, those of us who saw Sleeper know Clark didn't even come close to stopping Veritas.

Clark grabbed the box of kryptonite. “Chloe, you're the only one who can help me.” Well, duh.

The stalwart sidekick stepped forward. “I'm always here for you, Clark.”

Clark then laid out his scheme of luring Kara there and exposing her to the kryptonite. Chloe then explained what she shouldn't have to explain to Clark of all people. “This little green rock will knock down every Kryptonian in the room. You can't be around when we lift the lid. Let me do this.”

You're the hero of the show, Chloe, go for it.

Back, once again, at the mansion Lex packed up his little purple globe. No, that's not a metaphor. Lex's minion entered followed by Jimmy. “Your jet's fueled and waiting, sir.”

“Tell them one more passenger is coming.”

Jimmy looked perplexed. “Uh, where we goin'?”

“You're not going anywhere, Jimmy.”

The minion exited and Jimmy looked nervous. He confessed he'd done what Lex had told him to do. “Lois thinks you're all about the oil up North now.”

“Well done,” Lex said, picked up his suitcase and walked past Jimmy.

“So, I guess wax on, wax off, we're even now, right?” the naive Mr. Olsen asked.

“I believe our arrangement has just begun,” Lex replied and kept walking. “I want regular reports on Ms. Lane's activities.”

“Hey, I did what you said, I shouldn't have to spy for you, too. That's not fair.”

“Life is rarely fair, Jimmy.”

Jimmy ran forward and cut off Lex's retreat. “Look, Lex, I would really like to help, but lying? It's just not my thing. It's eating me up. It's actually making my stomach hurt.”

“Well, it's never too late to learn a new skill,” Lex said flatly and began to exit again, but Jimmy continued to block his path.

“Look, I'm sorry, I just ... I can't do it. Trust me, I'm not going to say a word about your ... oil drilling,” he said, picking his wording carefully. “Please, you gotta understand, I can't spy on my friend.”

Lex smiled reluctantly and put a hand on Jimmy's shoulder. “I respect your integrity, Jimmy. It took a lot to come here and lay your cards on the table.”

“Thanks.”

“Now if you'll step aside, I have a plane to catch,” he said in a manner that indicated he knew if he was going to get this sloppy puppy out of his glide path, he had to toss him a bone so he could catch his flight. Although everyone but Jimmy knew it wasn't over.

Jimmy wagged his tail and stepped aside. “You bet. Have a great trip, Lex.”

At the Talon apartment Chloe paced back and forth as she spoke into her cell phone. “Kara, there's something wrong with Clark. He's convinced that if he destroys the fortress, then no one will be able to control him. We're at my apartment, I need your help.” I hope Lois gets her own apartment in Metropolis next year so that she can say an apartment is hers and will actually be hers.

Whoosh, Kara showed up.

“Where's Clark?"

“He's .. uh, right back here,” Chloe said, took a few steps and then whipped around brandishing the kryptonite, but it had no effect. “Why isn't it working?”

“Check the expiration date?” Okay, that was funny.

“Kara, there's something seriously wrong with you, it was the only way ...”

“You lied to me. Clark's not here.”

Time to bolt. Chloe ran for the exit, only to have Kara cut her off and put her hand on the door. After a moment it began to liquefy and turn black. Chloe turned around in time to see the molten image solidify into Brainiac. “Oh, God.”

“I'm impressed,” he said as he grabbed her wrist. “I wouldn't have thought a member of your weak-willed species, especially a friend of Kal-El's, could use kryptonite against his cousin.”

Chloe, who was heavily hyperventilating, tried to pull her arm away. “Let me go.”

“I remember you,” he said softly. “Always sticking your pretty little head where it doesn't belong.”

His index finger elongated and turned into a spear shape with an auxiliary line branching off as had happened when he attacked Lana earlier this season. The two probes entered the back of her head, but when a third pierced her between the eyes, Chloe began to glow. Apparently her power includes a self-defense setting. She collapsed and Brainiac was visibly shaken. “What the hell are you?” he asked in a raspy whisper, and for the first time since his introduction, Brainiac actually seemed frightened.

Speaking of frightened, Lex's minion wasn't sounding terribly brave either. When Lex told him to have the pilot start the engines, he reminded Lex that they were waiting for his guide.

“I don't need her. I'm not sure I should even trust her.”

“But, sir, the last few teams have all disappeared.”

“I believe I have everything I need to reach my destination,” he said and pulled the case containing the purple orb into his lap. “This is meant to protect all humanity. It should protect me as well.” This line was funny, though I don't know if it was meant to be. In essence Lex was saying he was a close enough facsimile to humanity that the orb should protect him, too.

“But you don't know that for sure, sir,” nervous Nelson babbled. “It seems extremely dangerous.”

“It's worth the risk,” he replied curtly. “We leave now.”

The minion stared at Lex with unspoken objections in his expression, but he knew Lex and he knew his place in the food chain and so went to inform the pilot to start the engines.

Clark made his expected pilgrimage to the hospital. He sat next to Chloe's bed. “I'm so sorry.” He took her hand and lowered his head, but then her eyes opened, revealing the familiar gray milky color. Clark's expression shifted from regret to anger. “Brainiac.”

Meanwhile, the Brain Interactive Construct was at a power station hoping to get a recharge after Chloe drained him. He shot a hole in the chain-link fence with heat vision, but it seemed to take what little remaining energy he had. After staggering through he positioned his hands above electrodes and began recharging, that is until Clark came barreling out of nowhere and knocked Brainiac into a transformer. The electronic device, not a “robot in disguise,” though I guess Brainiac himself qualified when he was impersonating Kara.

Clark stood over the foundering Brainiac. “Kara never came back from Krypton, did she?”

Brainiac managed a sneer as he got to his feet. “It was quite an impersonation, wasn't it?” the Decepticon said. “It was the only way I could get back to Earth without you damaging me.”

“You killed her.”

Brainiac shook his head. “Oh, no, something much worse. You'll never see her again.”

Clark pushed Brainiac up against some of the few wires still attached at the facility. “Where is she?” he demanded.

Brainiac laughed. “I warned you. If we'd have done things my way, no one would've gotten hurt. No one but you.”

“So this is about revenge?” Clark asked angrily.

Brainiac said it was a simple matter of self-preservation. “When I couldn't kill you, I knew I had to control you.”

Clark shook Brainiac. “I'm in control now and you will release Chloe, you'll release Lana.”

“The only way to save them would be to kill me now in cold blood.” That would mean something if you had blood. “Which goes against everything you stand for. You could never deliberately take another man's life.”

It was Clark's turn to sneer. “You're not a man, you're a machine,” he said and jammed a couple of electric cables into Brainiac.

“You can kill me, Kal-El, but your end is near and there's nothing you can do to stop it.”

Clark pulled out another cable. They'll be fixing that place for days. “You'll never hurt anyone else ever again,” Clark said and jammed the last cable into Brainiac's chest.

Black goo started to spew from Brainiac's eyes as a bright stream of light issued from his mouth. Clark stepped back just before Brainiac exploded into a million little burning cornflakes.

Out in space there was a bright pop of light and Kara appeared tumbling out trapped in one of the Phantom Zone album cover prisons.

Clark instantly rushed to see if Chloe was all right, I mean after all she weakened Brainiac and almost got killed in the process facing him alone to help Clark ... ah, come on, you know better than that. Clark ran to Lana's hospital, but Chloe did manage to reach him on his cell phone. “That's great news, Chloe, I'm glad you're okay. I'll call you after I check on Lana,” i.e. don't call us, we'll call you.

Clark entered Lana's room and -- gasp -- she was gone. There's a surprise. Clark just stood there confused and spoke her name. A nurse entered. “Clark Kent?”

“What happened? Is she okay?”

“Miss Lang had a full recovery, something of a miracle.”

Clark smiled. The sap. “Where is she? Can I see her?”

“She's already checked out, but she wanted me to give you this,” the nurse said and handed Clark a DVD. Some sad piano music started to play, but this scene called for a mocking trombone playing “mwah wah wah” as if to welcome Clark into the Whitney-dumped-by-video club. And how did she make that video and then vamoose so quickly?

Does the hospital have a visual arts class or something? Oh, well, the nurse talked about miracles and so if anyone could whip up recording equipment and burn it to a DVD before Clark could super speed to the hospital, it's the amazing Lana.

Something told Clark to watch the DVD at home even if a player existed at the hospital. He probably thought of Whitney putting in the tape from home in front of the whole platoon just to see Lana dump him. Good choice, because of course Lana dumped him. “I was going to wait, to talk to you in person,” but that would show integrity... uh, she said, “but I knew if I looked into your eyes, I'd never be able to say it. We thought that we were meant to be together, Clark, but the truth is we were fooling ourselves.” Well, you didn't fool the audience, so cheer up. “I need you, but the world needs you more and as long as I am in your life, I am holding you back.” You can't take that bullet, Lana. Clark holds himself back, you're just a convenient excuse. “Please, don't come after me. I love you, Clark, more than you will ever know.” CLICK, off went the video.

Around the time Lana told Clark not to come after her, Lois stepped into the room and heard the rest of the recording. Clark turned around, tried to smile, or just make a brave face, but Lois saw through it. She ran to him and hugged him. “I'm so sorry,” she whispered, more in the manner that would be conveyed after a death than a breakup.

I don't know if the music was to have any significance here, but the lyrics were, “I wonder if you'll notice you've changed my life” and then the camera pulled back to show them hugging and the lyrics ended with, “You're perfect.”

Meanwhile Jimmy escorted Chloe home to the Talon, but he behaved more like she was pregnant than recovering from ... whatever you'd call a Brainiac intrusion. He offered to carry her upstairs, to get her tea, or water or sparking water to match her smile, but he seemed nervous. Chloe noticed. “Jimmy, I realize I'm the one who was just in the ICU, but you seem to be the one with marred motor skills. Are you okay?”

Jimmy said he was, but then told Chloe that until that night, he never thought he would lose her. “I mean I know that we've been on again and off again and on again, but I figured even if we didn't end up together, I could be happy just knowing you're in the world, but today I realized that that's not true.” Jimmy thought a moment about his wording. “No, I mean of course I'm happy that you're in the world, but you mean so much to me, Chloe, I want to spend the rest of our time in it together.”

If that sounds like the prelude to a proposal, you're right. Jimmy got down on one knee and pulled one of those two-tone plastic Easter eggs out of his pocket. He opened it up and pulled out a toy ring with a blue heart mounted on it. “It's all they had at the hospital gift shop, but I didn't want to wait. We can have breakfast at Tiffany's in the morning. Will you marry me?”

Aw, what more could a sweet romantic scene like that need? That's right, armed men from the Department of Domestic Security busting in and arresting Chloe. “Jimmy, call Clark! Get Clark!”

Fortunately for Jimmy, Clark was easy to find, he was brooding in the loft. “Clark!”

No response.

“Clark! Are you here?”

No response.

Jimmy ran up to the loft. “Clark, Chloe was just arrested.”

Clark finally turned around. “What?”

“Her habitual hacking caught Uncle Sam's eye (the guy in the star spangled outfit with a white beard, not Lois's dad). So I kinda went to Lex for help and now he's holding it over my head.”

“You made a deal with Lex Luthor?“ So did you back in the day, Clark.

“Look, I told him to get another lapdog, Clark, but then he just put her back on the most wanted list. She went from life support to life without parole in less than a day.” Will their children talk like this?

“Where's Lex now?”

“I don't know. I tried getting in contact with him, but he's off jet-setting around the Arctic Circle.”

The seldom used Clark light bulb snapped on.

“And I know it's not drilling oil because he's gone way out of his way to cover his tracks in the snow.”

Finally, at the Fortress of Solitude, Lex got to pay everyone back by entering without knocking. He strolled around with the appropriate expression of awe. He reached the crystal pipe organ and held up the purple orb. The star design disappeared and when Clark arrived, the orb began to glow. “I must admit, Clark, this is a big step up from the barn.”

“It's not what you think, Lex. You don't understand,” Clark said as he approached Lex, but backed off when the orb shot out a bit of radiation.

“For the first time I think I do. You see you live among us as a mild-mannered farm boy, but secretly you're a strange visitor from another planet plotting our demise.”

“That's not what I'm doing at all.”

This conversation is basically a redo of the conversation Clark had with Trask on L&C in the episode Green Green Glow of Home. Trask was certain Clark was the vanguard of a large invasion and through the persona of Superman was there to “soften us up” and like Lex, he believed he was saving mankind.

“It's a brilliant disguise, Clark. You don't even need a mask.”

“I'm not your enemy, Lex. I've never done anything to hurt you.”

“You didn't trust me,” he whined. “With everything you had, with everything you could do, did you ever think of what we could accomplish together? I would've helped you become a hero.” No Lex, because that presupposes that in the beginning when you two were friends, that Clark actually wanted to be a hero, which isn't true.

“You've never thought of anyone but yourself.”

“Right now I'm doing this for the world. I have to protect the human race.”

“This is my life. You have no right to control it.”

That seemed an odd reply. Clark should've been talking about why he is not a threat to the human race, or how he was raised by humans and thinks of himself that way despite his powers, but instead he invoked the right to privacy.

Of course Lex had just as much trouble staying on topic, He said it was his birthright. Perhaps a shout out to the comic book series of the same name since that Lex was xenophobic and felt he was doing mankind a favor by getting rid of Superman.

Lex also felt he deserved a payoff "after all my pain and sacrifice." What did Lex sacrifice? His hair? “I finally understand, I was being prepared for a much greater destiny. Everything led me to this moment.”

“And we're both here,” Clark said. “We're in that moment and what you do next is your choice, but no one is controlling you, Lex. No one is forcing you to do this.”

“Who am I to turn my back on my fellow man?” he asked. “Especially after you turned your back on me.” Whine whine whine. “I'm sorry, Clark, but you are the Traveler,” he said and walked back to the pipe organ. “You hold the future of the entire planet in your hands. I'm here to take it back.”

“Lex...”

“You'll never threaten the world again ... Kal-El.”

“Lex, don't!”

Lex placed the orb on the pipe organ. Clark collapsed and the fortress began following suit. Lex knelt next to Clark and lifted his shoulders. “I loved you like a brother, Clark, but it has to end this way.” He looked up at the collapsing fortress. “I'm sorry.”

Then the whole darn shootin' match fell down around them and seemingly on top of them. An exterior shot of the arctic showed no sign that the fortress ever existed.

The End.

Well, that was the finale, although it seemed in some parts like what would take place in a premiere and how was the orb controlling Clark? It just seemed to destroy the fortress. And I still have no idea why Lois suggested the opening at the Planet to Clark. I mean she knew he worked at the Torch, but he's given no indication that he wanted to pursue journalism. Then again Clark suggested to Lois that she get into journalism in Commencement, but otherwise I can't make a connection. Maybe the guy who got Chloe's desk made Lois suspicious. She did end up working at the Ace of Clubs instead of the Planet. All it would've taken was one scene of the guy looking at her computer and her catching him at it, but there was nothing at all. I'm not expecting an explanation next year either.

I don't think the DDS took Chloe since Lex had bigger fish to fry than Chloe at the time he was rushing for the jet and we're left with the Jimmy proposal and because I know what Chloe's answer is, I won't say and spoil it for anyone who wants to remain spoiler free. Chloe being able to repel Brainiac's attack was a surprise I didn't see coming and Chloe probably doesn't know she had that kind of power because she collapsed before Brainiac made it clear that she had weakened him. Then there's Lana.

What can I say? She acted true to form. She dumped Whitney with a Dear John tape, she left Paris with a two line good bye note for Jason and was going to leave Lex at the altar with a letter, which I would have loved to have read had Lionel not stopped her.

Now we have Clark who gets no better treatment than the guys who came before him. It seems Lana has a serious commitment problem ... along with her other problems. She'll be back next year for 5 episodes and they'll probably restore her halo, but she's never quite so interesting as when she's walking close to the dark side.

Lex, he's reached his destiny and can wait in the shadows until Superman appears. Clark, on the other hand, really needs to step it up and stop leaning on Chloe. Find something else for Chloe to do because Clark has got to give some nod to his destiny or he just appears to be a rudderless character among others like Lex, Lois and Jimmy who are taking big strides ahead of him on their destined paths.

One last word on Jimmy and I don't know why it struck me this way, but Lex's minion made me think of someone who might've been in Jimmy's shoes years ago, but never risked saying no to Lex Luthor and so never got out of his web.

Grade (on a scale of 10): 6